Peeing Standing Up - for girlsby ~neptune729
Hey! If you’re reading this page, chances are you’re a girl, and you want to learn how to pee standing up. But if you’re not eager to learn to do it already, then take a minute to read these awesome reasons why you should learn before leaving this page!
Why pee standing?
- Well, boys do it. So why let boys have an unfair advantage over girls? For many years boys have been peeing while standing, while girls have had to squat and sit. These days girls have forgotten how to. They just assume that it’s a basic biological difference between boys and girls, and that peeing sitting down is just one of those things girls have to do. Well, it isn’t - as this deviation proves! You can pee standing up just as easily as you can sitting down - and just as easily as any boy.
- Know what really annoys girls who are sisters? When you go out on a family outing- hiking, camping, in the woods, on the beach, or a long road trip - and you and your brother both have to pee. You might go behind a bush, or a tree, or between parked cars, or (hoping there’s no CCTV watching!) against that old building with mom and dad keeping watch. Your brother just undoes his zipper and takes a pee… but you have to pull your jeans and underwear down and squat. If you could do what your brother can, then wouldn’t it make long journeys much more comfortable? Plus, you wouldn’t have to let the outside world see anything but your pee stream itself - imagine the embarrasment if someone caught you with no pants on taking a pee, and compare that to someone seeing just a yellow stream!
- Dirty toilet seats. I bet every girl who can’t pee standing up hates squatting over these. I’d much rather stand up!
Okay. Convinced? If not, don’t fret - girls have got by for many years having to pee sitting down, and if you’d rather stay that way, that’s okay. But things can change! I bet most girls who visit this page would agree it would be better if girls learned to pee standing up. That way they could finally become better than boys at EVERYTHING - including peeing! - they could avoid dirty toilet seats, and could easily relieve themselves outdoors without having to show too much off. Who knows? Perhaps if enough girls learn to do this, someday there will be urinals in the girls’ toilets at school. And who knows what will happen then?
A word of warning…
Okay, so you wanna pee standing up. Cool! Just a few warnings before you’re ready to start.
Remember that you’ve probably never done this before - or you might have tried it as a little kid and made a big mess! Remember a girl having her first standing up pee at the age of [insert your age here] is like a boy doing it for the first time at two. You will almost certainly make mistakes the first few times you do it - you’re very lucky if you escape with no accident worse than a little dribble down your leg first time, So don’t try peeing through the zipper on your best trousers at school before you’ve got practice - unless you want a wet uniform! A good first place to practise aiming is in the bath or shower, naked - if you aren’t in the majority who pee in the shower already this may sound disgusting, but fresh pee is totally sterile and has no germs in it - the smell’s caused by a chemical, not bacteria, and it cannot harm you. Besides, you can just wash your pee away down the plughole when you’ve finished! Once you’re confident in aiming, then move on to doing it at a toilet - with newspaper on the floor! Then try getting rid of the newspaper. Then try it with some old, unused underwear. Then you might like to try it through a zipper for the first time. And once you’re absolutely confident, then you can finally take a leak boy-style in your best school trousers. Practice makes perfect!
So how do I do it?
Aha! Finally, I’m gonna teach you how to pee standing up. Ready?
1) Get your clothes out of the way. This means lifting up your skirt, or unzipping your fly, or pulling pants or shorts down a little bit at the front. You don’t need to move them much - just a few inches will do it. Pretend you’ve got a zip fly for any pants or shorts, and pull them down at the front to about as far as your imaginary zip would extend.
2) Pull your underwear to one side. If you’re right handed, I suggest doing this with your left hand. If left handed, I suggest doing it with your right. This is because you’ll need your main hand to do something else in a little bit!
3) Make a V-shaped “peace” sign with your dominant hand, and stick it down your zipper/pants/up your skirt. Slide your fingers carefully into your labial opening and hook them around the little folds of skin inside. Once you’re holding them, you should find that you can move your private parts around just as easily as a boy can move his. This way, you can aim your pee stream. Finding out how to aim takes a little practice! I suggest trying out “target practice” - aiming at the shower plughole while practicing, for example - or aiming at a little piece of paper in the toilet. It sounds crazy, but little boys train by this method and it really works - as you might learn when you have a kid!
4) Once you’re unzipped and aimed, have a pee! Aaaah… relief feels good! You might be surprised at just how far you can squirt and how well you can aim your stream. Many girls are amazed to see a yellow arc of pee coming from them, or to hear the tinkle of pee hitting the toilet water without the sound being altered by your butt on the seat. These strange new aspects of peeing are what boys see every time they have a pee - you’ll get used to it!
If you’ve mastered all that, congratulations! You can now pee pretty much exactly like a boy. If you were to pee next to a boy after a lot of practice, you’d look pretty similar - your pee streams would be coming out the same way. You’d be able to write your name in the snow and have “pee swordfights” with boys and other girls who knew how to pee standing and so on. Mastering the skill is only the beginning - you may get used to seeing and hearing and feeling yourself pee while standing the same way a boy does, but for endless fun can be had from your new-found ability - ask any boy and you’ll soon realise that you could get up to all sorts of mischief while leaving their mark! Soon you’ll be able to write your name in yellow letters in the snow, or do a million other things - but I’ll leave that up to you. Have fun and keep standing!